This summer of bliss is over. The first snow has come days after the first hard frost, although it didn't last. The autumn rains are falling and refreshing the drought weary land around us. The darkness creeps in earlier every night it seems. The house is full of soups simmering, children warming their feet over heater vents, canning, and cozy home routines.
I am finding myself eager and able to do much more than I could over the summer. My heart is continually healing and my mind is able to focus and process much better. My 30 days of not having a smartphone have come and gone and I presently do not feel any desire to go back. The few inconveniences of not having a smartphone have been far outweighed by the benefits of not having that distraction in my life.
I have experienced such time and space in my days and mind that I wasn't even aware that I was longing for. I journal almost every day - the scrolling words in black ink appearing on the unlined brown paper pages give release to the thoughts and reflections rolling out of the end of my pen. This form of self expression has been very therapeutic and helpful in sorting out my feelings and thoughts. I have also read like I haven't read since I was a child. I have read some for information, some for fun, some for depth and thought provocation. How my heart soars at the little shelves in my living room getting filled up with used books!
I am taking stock of my pantry and food stores for the upcoming winter. Last month I compiled an Azure order for the first time since February. It felt so nice to get back into that routine again and to plan a little farther ahead. During the summer I just didn't feel the mental capacity to bulk buy and plan ahead for monthly orders. It seemed like weekly grocery shops were about all I could handle. I spent as little time in the kitchen as possible and we ate lots of grilled or crockpot dinners. It was a wonderful break and definitely what I needed to do over that season to give myself a bit more time to invest in my children and my own heart. However, there is nothing I enjoy more than feeding my family nutritious food and spending time in the kitchen preparing it for them. It feeds my soul and I am very excited that I am feeling up to taking those tasks on again. I am compiling another order for Azure this month and hope to slip back into the routine I loved so much last year.
I have begun my Christmas lists for each member in our little family. I love this time of year! I have been looking for things for awhile and started writing a few things down here and there as I think of them and now I am crossing things off and narrowing it down to what fits in the budget and whether it was a fleeting interest or a true desire. We picked up the rhyme, "Something they want, something they need, something to wear, and something to read." a long time ago and it has guided our gift giving ever since. It really simplifies it for us. I would love to get to the place where we are making most, if not all, of our Christmas gifts but we are not there yet. However, I am trying to order more gifts from smaller shops or locally this year. Maybe I will have more skills and hobbies by next Christmas to draw from that will make homemade gift giving a reality.
When I ordered winter pajamas for the children, I also bought matching Christmas ones for them. It has been a dream of mine for a long time to have matching Christmas pajamas but it just never was a financial priority. This year I ordered them early and stashed them away for them to open on Christmas Eve along with a new game for the family to play. I cannot wait to see their sweet faces light up with delight!
It has been perfectly moody fall weather the last few days. Raindrops tracing lines down dusty window panes and making the earth moist again for the first time in months. I gathered the children in the kitchen and we set about cooking down a pumpkin, making butterhorn rolls, an apple pie and a pumpkin pie, and simmering some squash soup. The warmth from the kitchen covered the windows with steam like a veil between the coziness inside and the cold outside. It was rainy and dreary outdoors with the sky shut out by grey clouds, but inside was bright with candles, laughter, busy hands, and good food. The smells of spices and baked goods brought such warmth to the house. The soup and fresh rolls were delicious. At the last minute before dishing the pies up we decided to see if some friends wanted to come over for dessert. It worked out that they could and we spent a cozy evening gathered around the table drinking warm coffee and eating homemade pies and visiting. There is nothing in this world that can rival good friends and the coziness of home.